My names ally. Once upon a time I fell in love, now I'm falling apart.
if you want my legs to be shaved every day then you can do it for me and ill see how long it takes for you to not care anymore
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid
Diary entries of a recovering teenage girl. 9/12/2013
The sad thing is, this is so disgustingly accurate to my life that it’s scary.
Sex is so strange.
this is fucking amazing
This is the most accurate thing ever omg.
A tiger mother lost her cubs from premature labour. Shortly after she became depressed and her health declined, and she was diagnosed with depression. So they wrapped up piglets in tiger cloth, and gave them to the tiger. The tiger now loves these pigs and treats them like her babies.
british boys: hey babe, how are you? you look lovely today
american boys: whaddup shawty you lookin hella fine winna winna chicken dinna hellz yeah lets get naked
arab guys: you want to make friendship
i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own.
and mixing them with vodka
At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.
And then regretting your decisions the next morning.
Because you have to work.
and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.